Oh M. Night what happened? Remember The Sixth Sense? Unbreakable? You used to be clever. But now. I mean seriously. Trees? Deadly tree pollen forces people to commit suicide? C'mon!

Not that it isn't an easy fix. Just add Batman. Thats right we make The Happening a Batman movie. Now trees are killing people because Poison Ivy grew them ( Read more... )

How to make Secret Invasion good. First have Keith Giffen writing it instead of Brian Micheal Bendis. Second, no vast army of Skrulls backed by huge numbers of previously unknown Power Skrulls and Super Skrulls and Other Adjective Skrulls. Because if the Skrull Empire HAD those troops it would have made sense that they used them when ANNIHILUS ( Read more... )

A preemptive Making it Good on the annoying and more than a little misogynistic Hood: Kingpin of Super-Villains story arc over in the Avengers titles right now. This one for Cheryl Lynn, though I forget to add in Misty and Colleen...

( Beware, crappy stick figure art! )

We're going to break away from reimagining crap movies to reimagining a crap comic. Namely Marvel's current and 4th volume of New Warriors. This is a TERRIBLE book. One I buy for the worst reasons. Fanboy nostalgia. The Nieceza Warrior's run is among my favorite in comics. And so I keep buying this shitty book (currently written by the hack ( Read more... )

Oh ho, you say. We all already know where you're going with this. We all know about your lesbian fetish. And thats why you'll just say the movie needs to be an hour and a half of hard-core lesbian cheerleader scenes...

Which will be true. When I make the pornographic parody Get it on starring Kirsten Doesit and Elesbian Coozeku. But until ( Read more... )

Gods do I hate this movie. Everything about it is so damned stupid. The villain is a moron. The supposed computer programmer lead barely understands even the concepts of hax and cheat codes. And the reality altering rebels are soooo unimiginative. Add on the Love Conquers All ending and never have I have been so dissapointed by a movie hyped ( Read more... )

New icon for the Making it Good posts...

And we come to the final arc in this act of self-indulgence. At least for this particular crap movie franchise. Star Wars: Episode 3: Rise of the Sith? Revenge of the Sith? It was something of the Sith right? As you may guess from my inability to even remember the full title, I didn't bother seeing this one. Just like with other crap trilogies ( Read more... )

And moving on to Episode 2, here is where keeping George becomes ever more important. Though its possible we'll have to move from puppets up to cute videos of kittens and ducklings. The important thing is to have a director who can bring out Natalie Portman's actual acting talent and a writer who can craft some decent dialogue ( Read more... )

And now the second in the ongoing series, where I tell wealthy, sucessful people how not to churn out shit. Using only the power of my giant thinky brain, I will show how it is possible to make Star Wars prequels that are a cavalcade of CGI wank, bad acting and scripting inconsistant while other established continuity ( Read more... )